Dating your husband during separation
For those three months, my visions of life as a single dad involved sitting alone in a living room eating takeout surrounded by only my stuff.It wasn’t true: Living alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Sure, I miss my kids, but the rest of my downtime is dedicated to new writing projects, working out (I’m training for a Tough Mudder), reading more and filling the time working side hustles and starting every project I’ve put off for the past few years. Financial concerns, problems around the house, kid issues, and every issue that comes with being a husband and wife and parents.Instead of telling the kids we are still a family, I say we still are family.The slight change in wording explains why dad doesn’t eat dinner at the house every night or get dressed in his old bedroom anymore but still shows up for family birthdays and has the same last name.Now I’m twice as worried about everything — especially the kids because I’m not around them as much — and lay awake at night thinking about the bills, the house, and all the issues I’m now handling on my own.I’ve memorized every wet spot on the ceiling and break up the worrying with regrets over not looking up during the final apartment walkthrough.
(Not my type.) But eventually one stood out — a 59-year-old IT guy from Manhattan. We sat at a table by the door, across from a misplaced water sculpture. She was "very successful." He told me where she worked. As my date continued to talk about his daughter, I half-listened. He continued to tell me that, "about three or four years ago, when she was around 36 — she's 40 now, and will be 41 in December," she asked him how he would feel about her "dating a man who was almost his age."I nodded, while swirling my scallop in sauce. " I asked him, fully expecting him to answer with, "No, it's Karen." Or Danielle. I was scolded for not picking up the tab after rejecting a second date. And in those three years, I've come to believe that the one and only date delivered to me through fate was my 59-year-old e Harmony IT (Buddhist) guy from Manhattan. He was a vessel of knowledge and insight — a karmic gift that ultimately added up to more than I knew.Little things like none of the windows working properly or the washer and dryer only handling one towel at a time.The ex and I split in September 2017 but I didn’t find a place and move out until December of that year.I still get heartburn after eating too many buffalo wings, but that doesn’t stop me from ordering a second helping.
At the onset of the separation process, and especially during my move out of the house, the ex and I kept telling the kids that “not much would change” and that we’d “still be a family.” We were lying but only because we believed the lie ourselves.
It was October; he promised that we, and our two sons, would still spend that Christmas together as a family.