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02-May-2020 18:28

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“I can’t believe a girl like you would give me the time of day.”I texted him the next week, but he never responded. I want him to be nice because he means it.”“That makes sense,” he said, tangling a hand in my hair and kissing me on the forehead.

Annoyed, I noted that I wouldn’t even have thought to text him if he hadn’t blanketed me with such gratuitous flattery. He added me on Facebook and told me to keep in touch. I don’t wander into casual sex expecting it to yield a relationship.

He said my skin was soft and my smile was beautiful and he couldn’t believe he had found someone like me. I have never understood why some guys seem to think flattery is the key to a bedroom they’ve already been welcomed into.

He had grinned and said, “I’ll see you later,” but he never saw me again. “Your problem is that you jump into things too quickly.”“O. …”I thought there must be something terribly, medically wrong with me if I could so badly misinterpret a situation. When I ask how to do this, my friends become philosophers and say, “You need to find it within yourself.” Their advice is so abstract that I wonder if they, too, have searched and cannot find it. I imagine reaching down my throat and rummaging until I find some bright little mass labeled “self-love.” It has been hiding, perhaps behind some bothersome organ or within the folds of a stubborn muscle.

For some reason I’ve always been susceptible to thinking my life would be vastly improved by the solution to a single problem.



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