Kissed dating hello blog
Given the strong impact Harris’ book has had on evangelical youth and on the development of evangelicalism’s “purity culture,” Molly’s words are both well-timed and well worth a read.
Part I: Developing Relational Intimacies Part II: Developing Spiritual Intimacy Part III: Developing Emotional Intimacy Part IV: Self-Care and Casting Out Fear Part V: Developing Intellectual Intimacy ————— Molly grew up in southern Louisiana and, after spending college partially (emotionally and physically) frozen in Iowa, somehow ended up in seminary where she’s cuddling her inner demons by moonlight and wrestling her faith by daylight.
And I hope that all of us — including myself — can follow Harris’s example of openness, humility and courage when addressing our past mistakes.
This is my attempt to share some of my thoughts on “kissing dating goodbye” and “courtship” practices. If nothing else I hope to encourage people to think about the concept and decide for themselves what is most important for them in their situation.
Anyone who operates in the public eye for any length of time is bound to change their opinions at least a little. Not only did he admit his own error, he did so with extreme care.
They’ll likely do, say or write things they eventually regret. But how many people are willing to draw attention to their past mistakes? It’s easier to brush the past error under a rug and hope everyone forgets about it. His statement is the culmination of a two-year “process of re-evaluating the book.”This included inviting people to share their stories with me on my website, personal phone calls with readers, an in-depth study of issues surrounding my book overseen by one of my graduate school professors, and finally, creating a documentary film that captured the conversations with people who were reshaping my thinking. It wasn’t enough for Harris to state publicly that he now disagrees with IKDG.
As I mentioned above, Harris was just 22 when the book was published, which means he was even younger when writing it.So there was no let’s-get-to-know-each-other phase, no let’s-take-it-slow season. Wait a few months before you start to think about the future.” So we started dating, without knowing what the future held. The next few months were beautiful, healing, cleansing. Not necessarily this particular man, but someone who treated me like a daughter of God.Dating was just intense, intentional and pressure-filled from the beginning. The years passed, and I found I was still scarred and scared from that relationship. After a few months, I sat down again with my mentors.I no longer agree with [the book’s] central idea that dating should be avoided.
I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner. [In the book] There are other weaknesses too: in an effort to set a high standard, the book emphasized practices (not dating, not kissing before marriage) that are not in the Bible.I can only imagine how tough, even painful, it must have sometimes been for Harris to invite, study and document criticism of his own work. In his statement last week, he announced that its publication will be discontinued.